My eyes have been enlightened recently as I have been in a class that discusses our patriarchal society. Today we discussed what we are ‘taught’ to believe men should be like and what women should be like. We made a list of characteristics of each. We then made a list of all the names that are used in society towards those who don’t fit what we discussed are ‘in the box’ of what “should” be. This list was full of ‘R’ rated words, some of which, I didn’t know existed… This list was full of unnecessary slurs. This list was full of words that are thrown around like they carry no meaning. We then discussed what the consequences are to those who don’t fit into ‘the box.’ This list was not accepting. It was not full of love. It was not forgiving. It was none of the things that LOVE is.
Unfortunately these lists slanted toward men or boys and how they treat not only women, but other men who may not be as ‘manly’ or ‘big’ or whatever their beef may be. That kind of treatment, of course, is wrong.
But what I’m getting at is something great. What this list did do for me was realize and recognize how blessed I am to know so many men who are truly striving to live a life of love. Men who are running toward the life that God has laid out for them. Men who are truly stepping up to the plate and being the kind of man that God intended for ALL men to be.
So here’s to you. You, who are a man of God. You, who love your neighbor as yourself. You, who desire to be a gentleman. You, who seek hard after our creator. You, who see a need and fill it. You, who voice concern for the less fortunate or disheartened. You, who are a man. A man who understands what it truly means to be a man.
Today I am reflecting on this concept of beauty and the desire to be loved. Watch these two short videos before you read on….they broke my heart.
How heart-breaking are these statistics?
-Over HALF of teenage girls use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomitting, and taking laxatives.
-13% of women smoke to lose weight.
-53% of dieters are already at a healthy weight and are still trying to lose weight.
-40% of newly-diagnosed cases of eating disorders are in girls 15-19 years old but symptoms can occur as young as kindergarten. -One study found that girls who spent the most time and effort on their appearance suffered the greatest loss in confidence.
-80% of women interviewed said that they competed with women over physical appearance.
-One year of tuition and fees is $6,185; five years of beauty product savings is $6,423.
(Source: www.ywcatriangle.org/pdf/Beauty%20at%20Any%20Cost.pdf)
-”The current media ideal of thinness for women is achievable by less than 5% of the female population.”
-”All research to date on body image shows that women are much more critical of their appearance than men- much less likely to admire what they see in the mirror. Up to 8 out of 10 women will be dissatisfied with their reflection, and more than half may see a distorted image.”
-”A Harvard University study showed that up to two thirds of underweight 12-year-old girls considered themselves to be too fat. By 13, at least 50% of girls are significantly unhappy about their appearance. By 14, focused, specific dissatisfactions have intensified, particularly concerning hips and thighs. By 17, only 3 out of 10 girls have not been on a diet – up to 8 out of 10 will be unhappy with what they see in the mirror.”
(Source: http://www.sirc.org/publik/mirror.html)
We live in a broken world. Everyday we pass by lost, broken-hearted and hurting people. People who don’t have the confidence in Christ that we were created to have. Too many don’t feel beautiful. Too many don’t feel worthy of any man’s love, much less a perfect higher being; God.
My heart is breaking. Tears are surfacing as I think about the emptiness and the hopelessness that SO MANY feel right now. As I’m writing this, someone is forcing herself to vomit, someone is wishing they were thinner, prettier, clearer complected. As I’m writing this, someone is considering taking their life. As I’m writing this, people feel lost in a sea of HOPELESSNESS where they think they have no other option but to drown.
But I hold the key. I know the GOOD NEWS
of HOPE,
of LOVE,
of PEACE,
of JOY in the one who created me from the dust.
“The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.”
-Lamentations 3:22
I challenge you to read through 1 Corinthians 13:4-12 but read it in a new way. Read it as though it is describing God. After all, 1 John 4:8 says God IS love. A wise woman of God challenged me to do this and it revolutionized my view of God.
“Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres. Love never fails.”
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Following are some verses that have continually encouraged me through this process of finding myself in God and finding joy in his incomprehensible and unfailing love. I think we should continually reflect on these verses and the love of our father that they reflect.
[Emphasis added by me]
“I praise you becauseI am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”
- Psalm 139:14
“The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.”
-Zephaniah 3:17
“The king is enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord.”
-Psalm 45:11
“You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.”
-Song of Solomon 4:9
“But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.”
-Psalm 13:5
“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad ALL our days.”
-Psalm 90:14
I am a woman. I am a child of God. I am Christ’s bride. I am beautiful. I am loved with an everlasting love.
Today I realized that some of the smallest things about life bring me joy and the smallest things can move me to tears. I have wondered if it is being ‘of the world’ to find joy in the man-made objects of this world.
Then I remembered that God wants me to be joyful. He wants me to find joy in the little and insignificant.
Here are some things that I just love…
-The feeling of really sudsy shampoo saturating my hair
-Random facts that make me go “no way!”
-The way that umbrellas paint the sidewalks on a rainy day
-Paw prints in freshly fallen snow
-Really big and bright or really little fallen leaves
-Hats….crazy ones, normal ones, big ones, and bright ones
-The smell of wild bluebells
-Old worn out barns
-Black and White photographs
-Big Victorian dresses
-An abundance of different size, shape and colored buttons
-The smell of old books
-Trees weighed down and dominated with snow
-Rough sketches
-Inspirational quotes
-Plaid
-Polaroid photos
-The sound of a stand alone acoustic guitar
-Puppy yawns
-Unique doors (especially in other countries)
-The mirage of yellow taxis that fill a busy city street
-Walking in warm rain
-The way Father of the Bride makes me cry EVERY time…never fails when Annie calls George from the airport…the tears start flowing…
-Purple pen
-Big, white, fluffy hotel beds (specifically the hotel we stayed at in Atlanta on our way home from Guatemala in 2007)
-Finding money in my pocket
-Hearing someone singing passionately and off-tune
-Old vintage photo booths
-A long awaited embrace from someone you love…the kind that you don’t want to end
-Hearing a song you haven’t heard for a long time and somehow remembering all the words
And mostly…Finding joy in the little ways that God blesses me daily..
Today I am musing at the world.
We go and we go and we tire.
We dream, and we aspire.
Yet something stops us in our tracks.
And not only do we stop, but we take several steps back.
Today I am caught in reflection.
Stuck in deep deep introspection.
Who am I and who will I be?
Where is my place in this wide world around me?
Does passion bring aspiration or do ambitions breed selfish intention?
Can I do what I love or am I bound to pretend to love what I do?
Could the path set from above possibly be what I love?
Oh I pray for direction and I thank God for introspection.
But to see what is in front of me is that for which I so desperately plea.
I want to know.
I want to see.
I want to start working on who I will be.
Oh how anxiously I am anticipating what this next chapter has for me, anticipating what, when the page is turned, I will see.
And when the future is here, and I am made aware, whatever it may be, in His plan I will breathe sigh of peace.
As you may know, this past year I worked for The Iowa State Daily (student newspaper) as a photographer. It was a flexible, fun and interesting job and even though at times I didn’t have the most interesting assignments, I learned more about photography in those months than I’ve known my entire life.
My goal in every assignment was to capture the feeling and emotion of being present at the event. I wanted to understand what settings created what feel and how I could truly portray a situation in an honest light. Photo-journalism is a difficult thing. No manipulation. No chance for a second try of the same shot. What you get is simply what you get. This stretched me. A lot. I realized this year that I really didn’t know much about true photography and that there is an entire world that I have merely stepped inside of.
Along with photo-journalism I have also become interested in modeling photography. My good friend Kate Glenney has watched much too much America’s Next Top Model and through that has learned many modeling tactics. We work well together as we’ve been friends since pre-school and so a photo shoot is great fun and great practice for the both of us. This kind of photography welcomes manipulation and I really enjoy experimenting to get shot I have pictured in my mind.
Photography is not just a hobby. It’s an open book, telling stories of life and of emotion. And it is an ever-growing fascination of mine.
So this is what it feels like
To lay my burden down
To resurface above ground
This is what it feels like
To give you, my God, the reigns
To focus on what comes after the pain
The trials and tribulation
Oh Lord, they pale in comparison
To what you’ve done, oh glorious one
My God, I am so incapable
I need your strength to keep me stable
So hold my hand
As I stand on your word
Be my strength
As I seek you more and more
Keep me here in this state of mind
Where nothing I could ever find
Can replace you and your glory, Lord
My God, you are my reservoir
Today I’m brought back to the memory
The memory of you, my friend
Memory of your joyful soul
of your lifetime goals
Memory of your brotherly love
and fixation above
Memory of your love for those
who respect and look up to you
Memory of your light heart
and your contagious smile
My brother, my friend
For my lack of contact, I want you to know
that I’ve prayed and thought of you all the while
In the passing days I’ve heard how you
have acknowledged Him in all your ways
And, friend, I look forward to the day
that I feel my brother’s embrace
So don’t lose hope, for
our Almighty God is in control
To His hand we will hold.
There is one thing in my life that I have never been completely comfortable with and that almost makes me sick to the stomach. It’s not something I am proud of. I don’t ever feel like anyone really understands my feelings because I have been inable to communicate what it is that is confusing and unsettling to me. I am now going to attempt to put into words this struggle and would greatly appreciate feedback from anyone that feels they have helpful words!
God is…eternal. He has no beginning. He has no end. He just…IS.
I know that being a human there is literally no way for me to comprehend this…no one fully does. We are simply called to accept it. And I do. But my mind wants to understand. Unfortunately I will never wrap my mind around God or 99% of the details that describe him.
Heaven is…eternity with God. No end.
This is where I am painfully in fear. I often push it aside. I often disregard the fear and the incomprehendability of it. I can’t handle the fact that I am scared. Everyone else, it seems, is so excited and just ready for Heaven. People talk about it like they can’t wait to “go home” and can’t wait to spend eternity with God. It’s not that I don’t want to be with God in person…forever…but something…something I cannot specify…makes me uneasy. Why is this?! I feel so unChristian and so unholy or unrighteous…. As I write this tears are welling up in my eyes because all I want is to hold that excitement and that confidence that Heaven and eternity are… essentially what I am looking forward to. When I get these thoughts I feel so small. I feel so insignificant. I feel like a doll in a dollhouse where God is watching up above and watching me live this pointless life (I know life is not pointless..but this is the feeling or the thought process). What is my problem?
In every other area of Christianity and my relationship with my Savior that I am very passionate and want to live my life for Him and want to be a city on a hill..but all that seems to pale in comparison with my insecurity about eternity. I feel like when I try to explain this to anyone in person they get this look on their face like “What the heck is wrong with you” and whether they do or not, I feel like they are judging my beliefs and whether or not I really get this whole “Christian” thing.
I fully believe that ‘God created the world and everything in it and that he does not live in temples built by human hands’ because he created us for HIS glory and the fact that we have the opportunity to live with Him in eternity is the greatest gift we can’t comprehend thanks to the death of His Son. I am confident that I am going to Heaven when I die. But frankly, the fact that Heaven creates quite a ruckus in my soul, scares me to no end.
